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Thursday, September 24, 2009

I am not good with directions.

I get lost just about everywhere I go. Seriously. It's not on purpose, obviously, but it's a known fact among my family members that I get lost easily. Once, while trying to visit my folks with our four children, who were very young at the time, ended up going the wrong way on 275 heading into Cincinnati and took an extra hour and a half to get home. I was very upset. Who wouldn't be? Another time I called Jeff, frantic because I couldn't find the Jump House place where Nicole was invited to a friends birthday. We were late, not terribly late, but that was only because I gave myself an hour to get there and it was about twenty minutes away. See? I knew that I would most likely get lost. Because it happens a lot. I do have strong points, but getting from point A to point B without stress isn't one of them. However, if it's in Versailles, then I can find it. Isn't that the reason why we live in a small town? Yes. Yes it is.

So this morning Jeff wants me to go pick up the wedding book that he left at a wedding and the people finally found it, a month later. I'm heading into Lexington to purchase (Echo in the Bone so I can be in line to have it signed by Diana Gabaldon--hello!) so he thought it would be a good idea to have me "run" over and pick up this book. Um? That's a joke right? So I ask where it is (as if I would know) and he gets out his computer to pull up mapquest and write down the directions. Okay. Sure. You do that. All the while in the back of mind I'm thinking this is SO not a good idea. He should know this. Doesn't he know me by now? After seventeen years of being together, doesn't he know that I am lousy with directions? Yes. He knows. I guess he's trying to teach me something? We have a new car, maybe he thinks that it will suddenly give me super navigational powers and point me in the right direction? Yeah. I don't think so.

As he's telling me and showing me how to get to this never-been-to location I begin to panic. I told him I don't know that area of town at all. It wasn't so much the getting there that bothered me, but the getting BACK--without crying. This is what happens. I get very upset and flustered and then I just break down. This is pretty much how I operate on all levels, by the way. Generally an easy-going gal, but throw a few wrenches and sticks in my spokes and I'm done. So here he is throwing a hole TREE at me and I feel the pain. I told him that I didn't think I could do this. "Yes you can!" he tells me confidently. I'm glad someone is so confident cuz it sure ain't this ol' girl. Then he gets angry after I begin to shake my head at him, reaffirming the fact that I indeed have NO confidence in my ability to get me to this place just to pick up a book that was mine (in the first place) that he lost.

So I begin to yell about it. (while he says nothing but stomps around a lot, moving things and shoving this way and that way--kinda comical) I tell him that I'm in NO mood to feel badly about myself today, that I'm so stupid that I can't get around a town that I've lived in for more than nine years. Nope. Not today. I can feel badly about myself on another day. Today is rainy and blechy (that's a word) and I decided that if this day has to be this bad, then I can't add to it by getting lost in it. Get me? You with me? I mean, why spoil a perfectly nasty rainy-bad-weather day by getting LOST in it!? Yeah. Not gonna happen. So he says I'm not stupid and there's no reason for me to react this way etc etc blah blah blah. I remind him of all the other times (and places) that I got lost in and didn't make it to. Most recently the car dealership that was really right in front of my face (so-to-speak) and I still couldn't find it. And what does he say to that?

He says..."it was right in front of your face!"

Exactly my point, my dear.

I don't know what it is, this reason for not having good navigational skills. I've often thought of buying myself one of those talking boxes that tell you where to go. Moon has one. It's name is Jill. Jill can be quite helpful and I do think I need a Jill for myself.

So, I'm not going to pick up this book. As soon as he comes back, he's going to come and get me and we'll go into town together. :) See? See how easy that was? Couldn't he have just said, "honey, I love you. But I don't know if you can get there so let's just go together and then have lunch afterwards?"

See? Now that would have been lovely. Maybe there's still time for him to say that? I'll keep you posted. :)

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